Caution: This is a sappy, hormonal induced story.......
This is my wonderful honey! I know you have heard me talk about him before, but I LOVE him so much.
I know this sounds strange but one of the hardest part of D, is pretending that everything is okay. For me not just D but other health problems too. My family has always kept me strong, and helped me conquer everything I could. They have stood by me through thick and thin. But I always felt a little, well, broken. Living in Utah isn't easy when you are not a perfect size 0 Mommy of 3.6 kids that are involved in every activity out there. Also, again with the whole perfect thing, nobody admits when there is something wrong with them. Admitting means you become a leper. So, long story short, I was pretty much marked for reject island as a barren, diabetic fatty. Sounds mean, but its true.
I felt proud of the work I had done, where my job was going, and be "Nanny". I pretty much just thought that was going to be my life, and I came to grips with the fact that I wan't going to get married. I was okay with that. I had dated, and was even engaged. It ALWAYS came up! It was ALWAYS an issue. I was ALWAYS treated like a fourth class citizen in the magical dating meat market.
When Tyler came into my life, and became my husband, I never realized how amazing it could be. I found someone who loved me for me. D checks in the middle of the night, no kids, insulin pump wearing, edema ridden legs, and a pudgy tummy. He actually LOVED it all because it was part of me. We have so much fun, and he puts up with my weird habits like having to have the sink clean before bed (yes, mom, I haven't really admitted it but you hooked me), not having my feet covered in bed, and my strange love for having a mini farm.
He always tells me I am beautiful, even in the morning. He sings to me, and indulges my strange love for all things little, cute, or animal. Even though I knew him for almost 4 years before we got married, he is the prince charming I never thought I would ever have. When he confessed that he had always loved me, but was just scared of commitment, it made my heart happy. When he told me he thought I was beautiful the first time he ever saw me, I cried. When I first met him, chemo meds had taken all my hair.
I thought my life would always be lacking something. Now I feel so proud, and so happy. He has shown me that I am already complete, and that I have always been. I just didn't know it.
I love cute, pretty, and sparkles, but I know life isn't that all the time. I sometimes use it as a cover for the pain. I can say in all honesty, I am so blessed. I have wonderful family. Amazing parents and siblings, and a husband who saw me, for who I was, and loved me for me!
I love you Honey! :)
I LOVE YOU!