Ever since I had my Hysterectomy, I just don't sleep..... I wake up so many times, staring at the clock. What is it about the night? So quiet, so dim, so different? What makes the same thing in the daylight seem so different in the dark. When I can't sleep, sometimes I sneak downstairs with my fuzzy blanket to the porch. The quiet, the coolness, the wondering.
Last night I was on the porch at 3:45am. I think after years of checking my BG at 3:00am my body just expects it. I sat in the bitterness pondering the quiet. My life is surrounded by people all the time, so being alone, and "hearing" quiet is sometimes strange.
I guess it made me feel so thankful for everything I have. Last night we had our Family/Resident party. It was so much work. When it was all over I was stunned by people's complacence with how much people do for them.
Our Chef personally made individual cheesecakes, and cream puffs. She is amazing! She always goes out of her way to help me. My boyfriend came to support me, and stayed to help clean up. Some residents were so happy, while some just were just a little less than nice.
It amazes me how much people can care, and at the same time, other's people's lack of caring. I could only imagine what the world would be like if it was like the amazing DOC. A group of strangers, that go out of their way to treat people with kindness, give support, and cyber hugs! A place where you can feel safe letting of the steam of a hard day.
There are a lot of times at night I think about the amazing D Mamas and the struggles they are facing with such courage. A smile some to my face when I see the pictures of happy kids, and families. You should be proud!
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! I am so happy to have been able to meet so many wonderful people in my life. Because in the end relationships are all that matters.
Update on the Weigh-in...
My doc wants me to "take it easy" this month while off the pump for another week, and get all my basal rates "perfected" and hit it hard next month. I have been meeting with a personal trainer that gave me some great beginner info, and how it get a workout without killing my numbers! The GOOD part? I have kept off what I have lost!