Monday, October 11, 2010

"So are you going to be around in 10 years?"

Monday mornings we have department head meeting. Mondays just are not my favorite. They seem so rushed, because I work both of my jobs with no break in between. (Oh the joys of trying to afford insurance) Its non stop from 8:30am -12:00am. Dexter usually has a lot to say by the time 5:00 comes.

My boss came in after our meeting and wanted to know if I was okay. He was worried about me, and he is leaving me in charge of the building while he is away Wednesday through Saturday. He said "You seem sad." I kinda am. As most people know "worry" is just part of life when you are, or take care of someone with D.

I told him I was nervous about my heart and kidneys not doing their part. (I am so thankful that he has always kept my job in tact. One of the biggest reliefs is knowing I have, and will have a job.)

He asked how bad it was, I told him I don't know right now. He then asked "Will you be around in ten years"? (comforting, I know)

Hmmmm.... Will I be around in ten years?

I said, "I hope so, all I know for sure is that you have to live for right now". He agreed

Made me think.....

What will 10 years bring for me?

I know I won't get to have my own baby or be a mom.
I do know that I have so many friends who are willing to "share" their beautiful babies with me!

I know that I won't ever have a day that I won't need insulin.
I do pray that one day there will be a cure, and if not maybe health care for diabetics that makes it affordable for every person to have insulin pumps and CGMS.

I know that sometimes life is really unfair and I wonder Why?
I know that because I have experienced the things I have, I LOVE deeper, I am THANKFUL for every good day, and I feel GOOD EMOTIONS some will never feel, that is WHY!

10 years is so long, and yet so short. You really don't know how good you have it until it changes. For now I am thankful to be so blessed, and I KNOW that even though life is hard, yucky, and unfair...... It is wonderful, beautiful, and HAPPY!

Hope everyone has a HAPPY day today!


  1. UGH. I bet that question really made you thing sweet Rachael. I think you are right...through our struggles (whatever they may be) we appreciate the good and the happy times just that much more. Which in turn makes us feel REALLY GOOD when times are going well.


    I have been thinking of your health too.. Please keep us up-to-date with all that is going on. (((HUGS)))

  2. I've been mulling over your post. You know, none of us has a guarantee that we'll be around in 10 years. Of course, health issues complicate things, but that's just not a question that anyone can really answer.

    I'm so glad you're thinking positively, and I wholeheartedly agree. Even with challenges and struggles, life is beautiful. And it's those challenges that make us appreciate the good times all the more.

    It sounds as if your boss cares about you, and I'm glad you have a boss like him!

  3. Sometimes I wonder what my own journey will entail and that's without D......

    Raising a glass and clinking (**wink**) to sharing the road ahead and praying for many decades of healthy happiness!