Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A wonderful night with my honey!!!

I sure love my boyfriend, Tyler! He is so sweet to me, and so caring. We've been through a lot together, especially with me being sick this year, and having surgery. I don't know what I would do without him! Last night after work we drove down to Salt Lake (about a 2hr drive) to go see the Lights at the Zoo, and Temple Square. It was sooooo fun!!!
I talked him in to taking a picture with me, we are both camera avoiders,
but I think we look pretty darn cute!

We took Abigale Sheepie with us too! (Okay, I know its weird)
Here she is posing with a flock of sheepies at the Nativity.

I was a little disappointed that we didn't see more animals, but it was a lot of fun!

The tigers were awake and watching everyone.
I was a little nervous the fence was only like 5ft high!

This crazy critter just stood there by the glass checking everyone out! Funny!

They had tons of lights, and animated critters doing Christmas Stuff!

Afterwards, we were going to go on a cartridge ride, but there was a long line. We went to dinner instead. It was such a magical evening! I sure am lucky to have someone so wonderful in my life! It makes up for everything else thats a little less than wonderful!

Heidi, bless her heart. tuned me into a fantastic sale on this Salter. Mine will be in the mail soon! Thank you soooooo much Heidi! You Rock!!!!!

ONLY $20!!!!!!!!!!!!! NORMALLY $60!!!!!!!!!!!

This was a nice ending to a crazy, beautiful, painful, hard, but wonderful year!!!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Poison Drinks

Penny and Kerri recently made posts about getting the wrong orders on drinks. It's funny because I have dealt with the SAME problem 2 times this month. Once at a fast food chain with a Diet Coke, and once at a Tea Shop, with a cup of Peppermint Tea. BOTH times I asked for diet, or sugar substitute.
I am sure that the people that made the mistakes were either busy, or had a "Oh, What the Hell attitude". It makes me irate! Hello, we might as well be drinking poison! I realize that people with T1 Diabetes can have sugar, but liquid sugar hits you like a freight train and it's "derailing" effects last the whole day. What's worse is that if you don't realize it right away, you could be in for even worse problems.
It shocks me that in a nation, where all they do is complain about people "being obese" and "having diabetes" they would be a little more careful about what your getting. Personally, I went to the manager and told her the dangers of someone getting the wrong drink, especially if it's someone's child or you can't taste the difference. I was later told that someone was fired for giving full sugar drinks to "overweight" customers because they thought it was "funny to derail their diet". That's pretty scary.
So to echo our other DOC friends, be careful out there for toxic drinks!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Back to "Normal Life"

The presents are opened, the feast has been prepared, of course my pants are tight. Christmas is such a strange time of year. The buildup, and sadly the "let down". Now that I am getting older, and now officially in my "30's" (I turned 30 this year) I can't help but strongly dislike New Years. Most people get the "birthday blues", but I get the "New Year's blues". I think about all that has happened this year. The things I did, the things I didn't.

This year, I want a year, where I pull out the stops, and do everything I want. I reflect the reasons why, and feel sad some are out of my control. Matter of fact a lot of them. I've been reading several posts about people's not normal "Normal". It's funny because that never changes. This upcoming year, I am making a list of things I am doing and hanging it on the fridge.

I think one of the most important things I learned this year is, that its not about big things, but the small things that we find almost "inconvenient" because we get busy.

When you are a caregiver, or a person with a disease, a lot of your life becomes "controlled". Sometimes that control spills into other areas of your life. This upcoming year, I am going to try and break that control on other things, and enjoy the simplicity of things that get missed because I am busy.

I'm so lucky to have such an amazing family, great friends, and a wonderful boyfriend. I think about what my life would be like if it wasn't for them. Just a week before Christmas a horrid accident took the lives of two young boys, in our town. I can't get that thought out of my mind. Although I am not a parent, I can't imagine the horror of waking up on Christmas with your sons gone. Seeing their presents unopened, and trying to hold your family together for your two other young children. I think about parents that are working so hard to help their families be happy and healthy. I think about that love, and thats what Christmas is all about. That's what family is all about. That is what makes a world that can be so scary, uncertain, and sad, a wonderful place to be. I appreciate all the honest moms, dads, and D friends that share their joys and triumphs with everyone. What a wonderful example you are to me, and what an honor it is to call you, my friends.

As we transcend into a new year, I wish you blessings of hope! Hope that one day there is a cure! I wish you blessings of peace. Peace, especially in the hours of uncertainty and sadness. BUT most of all I wish you blessings of LOVE, the same love I feel in my heart right now.

Happy New Years my FRIENDS! Hopefully this can turn into a week of wonderful things to come! A fresh slate to be filled with nothing but happy things!


Friday, December 24, 2010


I HOPE I am doing this right! It's my first time! *blush*

I think Super D Mamas, and Super Awesome D Peep Girlies need some pampering....... So may I present the "Pamper Yourself Collection" (Ha! Doesn't "collection" sound like that makeover show?) Okay back to the Bolus.......

You will be receiving. . . . .
* Antibacterial foaming soap from Bath and Bodyworks! In the yummy flavors of "Midnight Pomegranate" and "White Citrus" (My personal favorite) Even if you only get a moment to close your eyes breathe in the yummy smells and get back to being super awesome, this won't dry out your hands......

* The 2 NEWEST scents from Bath and Body scheduled to come out this Summer Season..... Fuji Passion Fruit and Bali Mango! Pamper your busy hands, or tired feet with a quick tropical getaway!

* Grove to your own beat with a $10 Itunes gift card, redeemable for a movie or music to keep you going!

* (NOT SHOWN) A special surprise treat! One sugar free and one not...... depending on which one you need!

(Sorry my sewing pin tomato, although super cute, is not included....)

Don't be afraid to enter if you live internationally, if you win, I will ship to you!!!!!

Most of you know the rules......... But just in case...................

● Leave me a comment before midnight on Thursday, December 30th. Please include your first name. Comments left without a name will be eliminated.
● To earn extra entries (post a separate comment for each):
● Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter. Then, leave me an additional comment.
● Share a link to this contest on Facebook. Then, leave me an additional
comment to let me know.
● Blog about this contest. Then, leave me an additional comment containing
a link to your blog.
● No duplicate comments are allowed. Duplicate comments will be eliminated.
● Winners will be selected via random draw at
● Winners' names will be posted here on this blog on Friday, December 31st.
● After winners' names are posted, winners will have 48 hours to send a message to me at (corny, I know)
. If I do not hear from a winner within 48 hours, I will select a new winner.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Happiness Is.........

Is when my Fluffy Chickens, Alice and Thumbelina Poopybum
(Yeah thats really her name)
get mo-hawks from being out in the rain or snow!

Lots of beautiful white snow....... (disclaimer: NOT so fun to drive in!)

My door plastered with super duper awesome Christmas cards!

Not So HAPPY. . . .
My Tummy! Yeah, Renya you practically "triple dogged dared" me to post this. Here it is in all it's "glory" and flaming hot pain so I can't even button my pants!

I guess I will stick to my "regular arm and chest spots" Yeah this freaks people out, but the absorption is always "right on". I've given up trying to hide it, and despite popular thought, I don't usually get tangled in tubing even though its on the outside of my clothes a lot, or despite using the longest tubing. For those of you wondering, I realize this is an "unorthodox" place to put an infusion site, but it works for me. I have read through out the DOC that some women even use their "ta-tas"! Not me, and nor do I recommend it, especially to D Mamas, I guess it's a big kid thing..... Or at least when your old enough to be responsible for the consequences of getting adventurous in testing out different areas!

Anywho, nice welcome back gift Pumpsley! Grrr

Oh, the Irony!
I am feeling a little more in the Christmas mood, It's about dang time!
Have a great day everyone!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Pumpsley's Revenge

So, I was so excited to get back on the pump. I found out there are really of a lot of pros and cons of pumping. It made me realize that insulin delivery is far from perfect. I also realized that although pumps are wonderful, there aren't the "miracle cure" that a lot of people hype them up to be. (don't get me wrong, they are awesome, but very time consuming despite non-D perceptions of them)

I guess Pumpsley was super pissed that he got shelved for almost a month, because this morning Iwoke up with a flaming hot area around my infusion set! Seriously? That sucks! I would have post a picture of my red flaming agony, but realized people would be dropping off their computer desk chairs puking. My stomach is not my best feature.......

Maybe it's because I don't usually use my stomach. Who knows? Long story short, that sucked!!

Happy Monday! :)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Saturday Sleep In Yay!

Nothing feels better than sleeping in an extra hour. I slept on the couch at My sweet BF's house last night. I sure hope I didn't snore. He is such a sweetie. This morning I awoke to find him in the kitchen making me Breakfast. I can't believe how luck I am! Later in the month we are going to see the Zoo Lights! Seriously. What could be ore awesome than Christmas Lights and animals?

It's going to be a busy weekend. I have to finish the last of my cards and get them sent out! I don't want anyone getting their cards after Christmas! I have really enjoyed all the cards. Its so fun to come home and see them after a long day at work. I was so thrilled with Super Nate's ornament! The sting of reality did hit a little when a got a brief whiff of insulin, and looked it over... Poor kid. It's one of those moments that shocks you from your pretend normal world into, "Oh my Hell, we really do these things to stay alive?" I love it and I am proud to have it on my tree!

Speaking of weird moments. This weekend is my last couple days before I go back on the pump. I have learned so much, and have done some super stupid things! Last night, I ate a treat thinking I will take a quick shot after. Well, that sucks if you fall asleep, and then wake up a few hours later at 364! Duh! Rachael! You know better!

I have really struggled this year trying to get in the Christmas "spirit". Work has been difficult, and sometimes it is so hard to stay happy when lots of people around you have crappy attitudes. I figure it's not too late. Starting today, no matter what I will ENJOY this last week before the holiday! I sure hope everyone else is already enjoying it. Merry Christmas everyone!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Tired. . . . .

I wish I was this cat right now...... Hope the holidays are treating you well! It is such a busy time of the year!

Monday, December 13, 2010


Lora at "My Diabetic Child" posted an amazing post. I would like to thank her for her openness and sharing her candid feelings. One thing that makes me so thankful for the DOC is that there is no judging. There is no need to pretend, no need to be anyone other than your self. It seems that now days there is so much pressure to be "perfect". It seems like you have to....
- be perfectly skinny and beautiful
- be the "stepford" kind of wife.
- be happy, and smiling and never take offense
- to have the biggest, cleanest house with dinner on the table every night for your perfect kids that never do anything wrong, and have straight A's and do 5 different extracurricular activities a night.
- to never let the sadness of the world affect you.

You know what I think? It's all crap! Its not normal. I'm glad people are honest enough to say, I haven't hung up my Christmas decorations, I am not in the Christmas mood, right now my life kinda sucks! Thats the real honesty of the world. In turn we are out here ready to offer a kind word, a cyber hug, advice, and a prayer! That's what humanity is all about. I can't count the times reading about someones trail has given me strength, courage, and the will to keep moving forward. It can be a nasty unfair world out there, but together we can do it, and help each other! Hang in there everybody! You are never forgotten! Thanks for your honesty! :)

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Ever since I had my Hysterectomy, I just don't sleep..... I wake up so many times, staring at the clock. What is it about the night? So quiet, so dim, so different? What makes the same thing in the daylight seem so different in the dark. When I can't sleep, sometimes I sneak downstairs with my fuzzy blanket to the porch. The quiet, the coolness, the wondering.

Last night I was on the porch at 3:45am. I think after years of checking my BG at 3:00am my body just expects it. I sat in the bitterness pondering the quiet. My life is surrounded by people all the time, so being alone, and "hearing" quiet is sometimes strange.

I guess it made me feel so thankful for everything I have. Last night we had our Family/Resident party. It was so much work. When it was all over I was stunned by people's complacence with how much people do for them.

Our Chef personally made individual cheesecakes, and cream puffs. She is amazing! She always goes out of her way to help me. My boyfriend came to support me, and stayed to help clean up. Some residents were so happy, while some just were just a little less than nice.

It amazes me how much people can care, and at the same time, other's people's lack of caring. I could only imagine what the world would be like if it was like the amazing DOC. A group of strangers, that go out of their way to treat people with kindness, give support, and cyber hugs! A place where you can feel safe letting of the steam of a hard day.

There are a lot of times at night I think about the amazing D Mamas and the struggles they are facing with such courage. A smile some to my face when I see the pictures of happy kids, and families. You should be proud!

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! I am so happy to have been able to meet so many wonderful people in my life. Because in the end relationships are all that matters.

Update on the Weigh-in...
My doc wants me to "take it easy" this month while off the pump for another week, and get all my basal rates "perfected" and hit it hard next month. I have been meeting with a personal trainer that gave me some great beginner info, and how it get a workout without killing my numbers! The GOOD part? I have kept off what I have lost!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Adventures in the land of "Sugar Free" Chocolate...

My eyes lit up to see your yummy, beautiful swirly goodness! Rows of beautiful brown, filled with yummy fruity, tantalizing delight! Although I gaze like a child wishing for an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle, I know I shouldn't be looking because you really doesn't fit into my "diet" (Ha) plan.
I figure one chocolate wont hurt right (Okay, maybe two)? Besides the lady at the counter has guaranteed me that that are made with all "fake" sugar goodness! So, I leave with a bag, containing my delightful treasures..... ahhhh... a beautiful milk chocolate mint truffle. Beside it, a tart lemon "gummy" drizzled with chocolate. I carefully sit them in the passenger seat as I drive home. At the stop light I glance over. It is almost calling to me as my mouth water's like one of those psychological test dogs...... The light turns green and I am proud that I haven't just ripped open the bag and crammed them in my mouth. I want to enjoy each second of their flavor.
Proudly taking them up to my apartment, I sit on the couch. REALLY "What in the HELL is wrong with me!? They are freaking chocolates!!! No less, I've tried to be good about what I eat, and I have't had homemade chocolates since at least a couple years back. Despite the fact that the shop where they are made is a short walking distance from my house....
The time comes and they are everything I dreamed them to be. Their soft, mellow milk chocolate, the tart of the lemon, the cool of the mint. For five minuets, I am in heaven. I quickly come out of my chocolate euphoric trance, and look up the carb count, test, and take a shot. Was it worth the shot? Oh YEAH!
I lay in bed that night, a bit of a headache, but thinking it was the fact that my whole body was sore because I had just completed a 71 hour work week.... At 3:00am I awake to the blaring of my alarm. I feel so awful. For some reason all I can think of for a moment is Reyna's son's "I feel low" in it's up and down octaves..... I am in slow motion...... I test. I feel low, but not "really". The machine beeps... 498!? Seriously!? I test again.....501! I get up, or rather crawl to the fridge. I take a shot, and crawl back to bed. In the morning I wake still in the mid 200's.
Were the chocolates truly "sugar free"? Did she give me the wrong ones? Sadly, I realized that you really do have to be careful...... So, NEVER again. I am glad that Crystal Light has a nice hard candy that really doesn't effect my blood sugar..... Fare Thee Well Dear Chocolates!

Dear Pumpsley,

We will be united soon, Oh how I have missed you!

You're Fondest Admirer,

Friday, December 3, 2010

TOTAL RANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER........ There is NO HOLIDAY CHEER in this post. It truly is just me ranting! If you are in a good mood, you may want to move on to someone's post.........


ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????

I NEVER play the "I have a chronic illness so I can not give 100%" card. Yes, there are times where I am honestly sick, and can't work. BUT...... I always give 150% effort at work. I work with "Grandfriends" all day in a retirement community. To me when it comes to "certain" things being one person's job, I'm not down!

HELLO! I am so sick of the "YAY Teamwork" speeches on Mondays only to go out into the workplace, and get told because I am doing something out of my "job description" (Which there really isn't one) I am doing it to make someone look bad. DUH!!!!!!! That feeling is called GUILT because a half sick diabetic that has already worked 57 hours this week and is only getting paid for 40 because of salary, is out shoveling the snow and ice off the parking lot because she cares about employee, resident , and visitor safety.

Sorry, I am not taking the 30 mins of "free time" I have to sleep in my office! Seriously WTF! I feel like shit this week! To have a man as old as my mom talking crap behind my back like a middle schooler, just boils my blood! These are the days I have to keep telling myself....


Sorry for the rant but, I HAD to get that off my chest. I'm NOT sexist, but sometimes MEN are DOO DOO HEADS!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

YAY for jammies!!!!

I have slowly crawled my way out of a "funk" this week to find these super cute jammies that I WON!!!!! I NEVER win anything, no, really I am cursed with BAD luck! They are so cute! I LOVE "Scotty" dogs. For some reason they always remind me of my Dad. Many thanks to you Wendy! I sure LOVE them. They make me so thankful for all the amazing friends I have met through the DOC! Have a Happy Day!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

What If?

You know those nights.... You lie in bed, obviously not sleeping, tossing, turning, and wondering. Wishing your brain would just shut off! It's 3:00 in the morning, just checked my BS. 69. Pretty normal for this time of the night/day. Brain going 100 miles an hour!

What if I didn't have diabetes? What if I wasn't fat? What if I could be be a mom? What if I wasn't a Recreation Therapist? What if........ My mind races. Is my life what I want it to be? Am I the person I always thought I would be. How many "I wish I would haves", do I have?

It's interesting to read the open and candid post about D and depression this month. I am fortunate, that I don't really get "depressed". I get blue sometimes, and sometimes have spells of irritation, overworked, and frustration.

I think I am going through a spell of "Why can't I just....." NOT to be confused with "Why me".
I see so many of my friends and people my age "living" the lives I have always dreamed of. I wonder, "Why can't I just be a mom with a my own child?" "Why can't insurance just be a little more affordable." Why can't loosing weight be just a little easier?" I'm not going to lie. I wonder if I am good enough sometimes. I wonder if I should have made different choices. I wonder "What if?"

I've thought A LOT about it lately. I don't think I would be willing to give up what I have for what I "want". It sounds so contradictory. My life isn't what I expected it to be, but where it's less, it's become more. I am so lucky to have a good job. One where my boss has never let me go for being sick. My boyfriend is so sweet and understanding, and as funny as it sounds, where I can't have children, we indulge in hobbies together such as gardening and farming. We create and "give life" to animals and plants. We celebrate holidays, and enjoy life in other ways.

Would I trade being diabetic for some other disease? Am I angry about being diabetic? Is life really that different when you are? Questions I am asked all the time. Is it fair.... NO! Is life the same...... HELL NO! Would I trade it for something else? Honestly? I don't know. For all the things it has done that are sad, painful, and wrong, I can think of something it has done to make me more.... patient, understanding, kind, and able to see life a little differently.

So after the deep holiday thoughts (which usually come closer to New Year's for me) I have to say I am living a great life. Although there are days of pain, sorrow, regret, and WHAT IFS. There are MORE days filled with LOVE, WONDER, HAPPINESS, GRATEFULNESS, and JOY!

I am sure I will always have feelings of never feeling like I am enough, and sometimes a little broken, or incomplete.

I will remember the 3:00 in the morning BS checks where I am HAPPY to have all that I have, and I can lay my head down at knowing that when I leave this world one day, it will be a bit brighter because I was here.

I hope you all know how much I love you all! Your kindness, happy comments, and sharing of your sweet families fills in the cracks and makes me complete!



*Yeah, I blew my diet, but I am back on track, and am feeling good about jumping back on the bandwagon.

*I have had some crazy blood sugars, but I think the "pump vacation" was a good thing. It not only has made me aware of things that I take for granted, but has helped me learn some new things too. I will be happy to be pumping again . I was going to wait until the beginning of the year, but I may start around Christmas because emotions are so tricky with blood sugars, and pump basal rates are so much more consistent than long acting insulins.

* We've decided to keep our chicken killing Lucy. Bless her heart. We have had them on a schedule so they aren't out together at the same time. In the spring we are making her a pen of her own. She LOVES the snow! She "swims" around in it, and loves to eat it. I still can't believe the poor thing kills chickens. I've read up on it, and supposedly, it's not uncommon.

Our snow covered farm!

Lucy playing in the snow.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

It's Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I hope everyone has a wonderful start to their Christmas season!
As the trees go up, and we enjoy time with family and friends.
May the spirit of holiday warm your heart.

It can be such a stressful and busy time of the year. Remember to take time for yourselves and enjoy the simple things that are so magical this time of year. You are all so wonderful. This month has been so inspiring. I have learned so much about everyone, and their triumphs, struggles, and courage. All the D Mamas and D peeps are my heros! I am blessed to know each one of you. Thanks for all your support! Have a wonderful weekend!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thankful Thursday, Weigh in Wednesday, and Blizzard Update!

We survived the "blizzard" and it truly was. It was a crazy night. Although there were a lot of accidents in town, I think everyone is the valley is okay. I was so worried for people all over. I couldn't imagine loosing a loved one, let alone right before a holiday. So I am so THANKFUL that things are good. Last night after the blizzard went away, the sky was so blue, and clear. The air was so crsip and clean, and it was so QUIET! It was an amazing moment to behold as I stood in cherry PJs and a wool coat on the snow covered porch, taking it in like I had never seen night. My chickens on the other hand need to not be so stupid! Poor Tyler was trying to force them into the coop in the middle of the blizzard. The door was open, all they had to do was walk in. He wasn't too happy, I don't think. He's so good, sweet, and wonderful.

I haven't gained but haven't lost either. I am still down 21 pounds, and for me that's all that matters going into a major food holiday. I am doing better at realizing what I am eating, and not grazing like a moo cow :D I will be strict after the holiday. I am proud of myself for sticking with it. All the other times I have just thrown my hands up and said it was too hard.

My computer is still broke so no more posts until Monday.

My yesterday post started up conversation about almost loosing my whole family last year in a landslide. Words can not explain how THANKFUL I am to have my family. I think "thankful" and "grateful" aren't even good enough words to explain it. I love them so much.

I am so THANKFUL to have my wonderful honey. He is my whole world. I can't imagine a day without him. He makes me want to be the best person I can be. He gives me strength and courage. He's so wonderful, and I am so blessed!!

I am so THANKFUL to all of you! All those awesome PWD and D Mamas that give me advice, cyber hugs, and keep me going when life is so overwhelming. To know I am not alone, and know there are people out there who "suffer" the way I do, and understand that even though you may be smiling, life isn't all fun sometimes. I appreciate the honesty that you are so willing to give. Making yourself vulnerable to help support other people. THANK YOU! You will never know hoe many times your touching posts have given me strength, support, and sometimes a good laugh!


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Follow up to comments in the "Blizzard" post
News report the day the bodies were found. What the area looked like.

This video was shot by a crazy neighbor, crazy to be there at the time. There are some chilling comments, "There's a house down there." The house is gone!" "Do you smell natural gas?" and several more about the hill still giving way.

The house was hit so hard that it was knocked 20 feet off the foundation, and severed the natural gas line. With all the problems that day, it was surprising that not more people lost their lives. - Water flowing again in area where canal break destroyed home

This is some video and pictures of the area where the landslide was last year. Our home was the red brick one. Since this interview, there have been several new slides in the area. Our home was condemned and they are still trying to find a way to support the hillside before it slides again.

In the picture gallery to the right on the web page, I took a lot of those pictures in our back yard. The retaining wall has been completely pushed out and knocked down on the end by the shifting ground.


There's a blizzard rolling in. Yeah, the town is like one of those crazy disaster movies! The University is "closed" the city of "Logan is "closed" Schools and businesses are all shutting down the stores are packed with people getting "supplies". Of course I've had several calls asking if I have enough medical supplies! Everyone is freaking out! The storm is rolling in quick too. The air has changed from warm and breezy to windy and frigid. The mountains "disappeared" in a matter of moments. My poor little town has gone nutty! (Our valley has about 100, 000 people in it) You'd think we were in the movie "The Day After Tomorrow". It should be an interesting night to say the least. I guess after our family lost our home, and our neighbors died in a landslide last July, this kinda stuff just doesn't phase us anymore....

Between "The Blizzard"warnings and listening to all the drama involved involved with the TSA, it's like a real life soap opera.

Honestly, I've have to go prepare the Grandfriends for the blizzard. Let you know how things go.... ;)

Monday, November 22, 2010

So Dead....

I'm still battling computer woes. Trying to kinda blog from my phone takes like a day, and no pictures :( I know its because I said I would blog everyday. Why do computers have to break when you're broke.... GRRRR!

I'm doing pretty good with being off the pump. It's a little scary. I'm doing better with creating better eating habits and realizing how grateful I am to have a pump. I've been battling a few fevers so I am off my Dexcom because it doesn't handle Tylenol. I am back to regular finger sticks and getting up at 3:00am.

I am surprised to learn that my long acting insulin dosages have changed, and that carb counts are different when taking insulin vs the pump. I guess I had really never thought of it. It has given me the chance to have "raw" data on things. It's funny because I wonder how I ever kept this up before the pump. It seems so time consuming. I forgot what it is like to write everything down. Even the smallest things like looking through the pump history to check something, is gone.

I have had some super no-no numbers. Some lows, mega highs. It's almost like a science experiment. I think it was a good thing. I think the pump has commiserated with my problem of wanting to much a homemade roll when I get stressed. It makes me think about whether or not I am actually hungry, and what I am eating. Defiantly no more grazing.

I realize this is not a new problem and I did this when I was on MDI alone. It's just funny how the journey back makes you realize things you never knew.

I AM SO THANKFUL for the advances in modern medicine. And yet.... IT's sad to know that with even things like pumps, and CGMS being diabetic and caring for diabetics is not easy.

I recently read that "they" are predicting that in 25 years as many as 1 in 3 people will have diabetes! I can only imagine what could be causing this. It's these stories too that create "prejudices" and ignorances when living or caring for someone who is Type 1.

There has got to be a cure! I can only pray that it is found soon! So many people suffering, both Type 1 and 2.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving week! I haven't been able to comment on people's blogs form my phone, but I am keeping up on all the news! You D Mamas and PWD are AMAZING and doing wonderful things to make our voices heard! I am so thankful to all of you! You keep me going when things get rough!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

So stinkin' funny!!!! (Thankful Thursday)

I am THANKFUL for moments I can laugh so hard my stomach hurts!

I don't listen to music like this, but I watched this parody and then watched the original. I laughed do hard I about fell out of the chair! The kids are SO CUTE! I love the lines "Doo Doo Pie" and "Fart Face". I don't know if kids still use language like that, but that's hilarious!

Watch the original here. CAUTION!! There are some naughty words, worse than "doo doo pie".

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Weigh In Wednesday!!!!

Do you ever have these kinda times? Ya know, the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" days?

I've felt overwhelmed lately with life in general. That's not good, because the holidays aren't even here. Im sure I am not the only person that feels that way. I am sure most PWD and D Mamas know the feeling.

What does this have to do with weight? For me, a lot! My edema has been crazy and I don't know if I have lost or gained because of it, so no numbers today.....

The hard part. I love my insulin pump! Pumpsley and I have been through a lot! BUT when you are a PWD, pumps can give you the convince to make not good choices. I have gained about 35 pounds since starting my pump 3 years ago. Why? Pumpsley makes it okay to eat ANYTHING I want without consequence. Plus, my doctor says insulin can contribute to weight gain. I HAVE to loose weight! For my health, and for myself. It's so hard. The only way I know to break this is to go off my pump for a while. When you do MDI you have to account for EVERYTHING. I AM so anal about having a great A1c, and not so thrilled about taking shots. If I have to shoot up for every time, I want to just snitch something, I know it wont happen. I am hoping to correct my no-no behaviors, and be consistent with my diet and exercise plan. I was resistant to stick to something so rigid for the holidays but now realize I will always find an excuse and the are always holidays. I can't let that dictate my life. So Pumpsley, we will be together again at the beginning of the year. Please know I love you....Just maybe too much!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Kinda sad......

I'm been super busy with crazy computer problems, work, and now a predator that keeps getting into our chicken coop and attacking the chickens. Yesterday our other beautiful black and white hen "Hickety" was brutally attacked! She's alive but in pretty tough shape. Poor thing! We are trying to figure out what to do next so it doesn't keep happening. I guess our 7ft high fence just isn't enough! Poor pet chickens......

Monday, November 15, 2010

Yeah, I blew it!

I have been trying so hard to do this post everyday for a month thing, and I think by trying it I jinxed myself! My computer is dead, and blogging from my phone is a nightmare! Hopefully tomorrow will bring better news!!!!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Thankful Thursday on Friday

While I was sick I got some sad news. My boyfiend called to tell me that one of our chickens was killed by an animal.

It was our "Pickety". She is a beautiful Plymouth Rock Hen. Black and White striped with a bright red comb. She had a "twin" named "Hickety".

I was so sad. I knew Tyler was upset too. He was so sweet to bury her near a flower garden with a large rock.

I'm so thankful for our little farm at Ty's house. We call it "Winter Hollow Farm". It's been a fun experience. I know it sounds funny to be sad about a chicken death, but they are our pets.
I am thankful for all the beauties of nature, and especially the changing of the seasons. Winter is a pretty long season. But nonetheless, beautiful.

I am thankful to have such a wonderful boyfriend that is so good to me, and lets me play in the dirt, plant, and enjoy being a pretend "farmgirl".

We have started planting 100's of bulbs. We added a HUGE garden plot, and a raised "English" garden. I'm excited to see it in the spring. We have a little website, if you would like to see our critters.I am SO lucky!

We will miss you Pickety! Thanks for all the fun this summer hunting grasshoppers, and playing in the yard!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Stand Up for Diabetes Education!

Meri at "Our Diabetic Life" told a story that really touched my heart (and struck a nerve). It was about an elderly lady at the pharmacy, newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

This story really hot home because I work at an Independent and Type1 Assisted Living facility. I LOVE my "Grandfriends" soooo much! They mean everything to me! One of the biggest problems I see in elderly healthcare is the lack of concern for new diagnosed Type 2 Diabetics in the elderly population. I mean come on. You are taking older persons that usually can't figure out a VCR and telling them to figure out a new life style and gadget all on their own?

It's been tough road for people with diabetes, and people with diabetic loved ones . There are SO misconceptions about diabetes. The media really messes it up with their commercials too!

I cannot tell you how many times I have come back to work on my own in the middle of the night to check BS readings of my residents, type 1 & 2, because they were having a bad day, or get this..... YES THIS IS TRUE..... A homecare nurse forced to give insulin when a patient is already kinda low, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THE DOCTOR HAS ORDERED!!! I've seen it happen. A person given so many units of insulin at bedtime, with a snack to cover their "low number". By the time it's that late they usually don't have a choice, they can't get a hold of a doctor. I came in one night and found a resident that keeps her blood sugar very well controlled in a coma! The doctor had just changed her insulin and sent her on her merry way to deal with it....... alone!

How can our healthcare system do this? It shocks me. I can only imagine with all the Medicare cuts, and the supposed "Obama" Care (that actually says that older people will be denied life saving medication because of their age), where diabetics fit in.

I remember the "swine flu" scare of last year. I was in charge of disaster planning, and resident safety. The reports from the CDC claimed that in a major pandemic certain groups would be denied life saving care. One of groups among this list was "uncontrolled" diabetics! If there was a disaster do you think if you said you were diabetic, someone would even waste the time to identify if you were "controlled"? What guidelines make a person "under control"?

I urge everyone to get involved in educating anyone you can about diabetes! I think there is a stigma about our health, and the health of our loved ones. Who has the right to say we are unworthy of proper care, or life saving treatments? Who has the right to diagnose someone with a scary, life altering disease and just send them on their way to figure it out on their own? Who has the right to deny elderly people who created the world, and protected the freedom we now enjoy, the right to help. Since when is a person disposable?

I'm not into politics. That might just change here pretty soon. No one has the right to take someone's quality of life or even life itself!

Thank you for educating the world about diabetes! We will triumph, we will conquer, and will not give up without a fight!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Weigh In Wednesday!!!!


Yeah... Not so good!

Last Week 79.8

This Week 80.8 (Edema?) Up a pound? REALLY??

I am thinking this is because I haven't felt too good, and haven't been taking as much lasix (water pills) as normal. The latest news at the doctor? I'm fat. um... duh, I didn't need 8 years of advanced learning to tell ya that? Doctors...... grrrrr.

Thanks for all the kind comments, I am doing so much better. Sometimes those viruses can just knock you on your butt!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

6 Things you should know about D

Its not easy being "D"

Perfect example.... THIS WEEKEND! I caught a nasty cold that set off an array of nasty side effects, that cost me the whole weekend and a day of work. I was so miserable, I literally slept for 3 days straight, and had to drag my half dead body to work today. NOT FUN!! While everyone else catches the "24 hour flu" I get the "3 week in-the-hospital variety". Diabetes make it so you can't fend off the same virus other people have!

I am sure who ever made this comment didn't have DIABETES! It is an all consuming disease that is present 24 hours a day 7 days a week, 365 days a year! YOU NEVER GET A BREAK!

I didn't do ANYTHING to deserve this. It just happened.

I didn't get it from being fat!! It makes dieting a bear, and it's harder to loose weight!

Just because I do it all the time, doesn't mean ticking a sharp metal object doesn't hurt any less! I just know it's the ONLY way to survive, so I do it! INSULIN IS NOT A CURE!

I'm tired, sick, and it's really not fair. I *WASTE* hundreds of dollars, hours, and tears just fighting to get up and start my day. It sucks, and I hate it. You can doll it all up by talking about how blessed you are, thankful for the opportunity and friends you have made because of it, and how strong it has made you..... BUT........ TAKING IT FOR WHAT IT IS, YOU WOULDN'T WISH IT ON YOUR WORST ENEMY! It's horrible, and having a good attitude is the only way you can make it work! That and good friends and supporters.

Yeah, not such a happy tune, but it is what it is.......

Friday, November 5, 2010

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thankful Thursday!

I am VERY thankful for people who go out of their way to try and make other people happy. It is amazing how hard it can be to "always see the bright side" of things. Sometimes life is just no fun. Some of the most amazing things in life are simple things that can easily lost in a busy day. Today I tried to look for those things, and in my heart be grateful, here are some of the things I noticed.......

* A grandma's beautiful wrinkled hand. A hand that has built a life, nurtured a child, helped the sick, and baked a lot of bread!

* A puddle of water with gorgeous leaves of all colors floating in it.

* A child playing in the leaves with the biggest grin ever. (Of course, the "Nanny" side of me wondered why he was out with no shoes!)

* Stopping in the parking lot, closing my eyes and feeling the cool breeze and warn sun on my cheeks.

* Seeing a son hug is mother, and say "I sure do love you mom".

* Seeing a checker with a smile on her face really trying to be kind, and happy to everyone. Then realizing that under the corner of her shirt there was a bandage with tubing. Probably not insulin. Knowing that she was not feeling good. Hiding her pain and still trying to bring others joy.

*Reading inspiring posts from amazing parents and people with D. Knowing no matter what, I am not alone.

* Hugging an adorable stuffed sheep my boyfriend gave me, and realizing how lucky I am to have someone that loves me for me. Realizing how amazing he truly is!

* Saying "Hi" to my Poppy on the phone. Loving that he always says "Take care Sis" because I know he really means it.

* I LOVE Armstrong's song "What a wonderful World", and I listened to it this afternoon. It sure made me smile!

I hope you all have an AWESOME day!!! :)

Day #4 Yay!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Walking in D Mama shoes!

YAY to D Mamas!!!

Nicole from "We CARA Lot" wrote a touching post about the difficulties of trying to understand what it feels like to be "Diabetic". She, as well as Reyna and some other D moms have been concerned about "Getting it".

I want to say to ALL the D Parents out there. You DO "GET IT"! more than you'll ever know!

My dad (who I call Poppy) has been Diabetic for so long. He has had so many problems and complications. It's sad because he doesn't want to worry about it all the time. He doesn't want to carb count, take more than 2-3 shots a day, or test his BS more the 2x a day. For him it's a quality of life issue. He doesn't want his life to "revolve around" diabetes. He takes regular insulin, and 70/30, an almost extinct practice. He has tried other insulins without success. He just wants to live. He has a hard time when he gets low, and can tell it when he is around 100.I am sure his A1c is at a dangerous level, I am betting at least 9-10%. He's just tired. Who can blame him?

I have complications although I have worked so hard to achieve a great A1c (5.8). I carb count, and although I now have a pump, and Dexcom; I used to test 8-10 times a day, and take 8 shots a day. Diabetes is a huge part of my life. I feel frustrated that I still have problems. I have always thought that if my A1c was "perfect", I would be too. I was wrong. I don't know I am low unless its REALLY low. I get tired of it too.

The moral of the story: Although we have the same metabolic disorder, we experience it completely different. I can respect my dad's opinion but I don't understand why he feels the way he does all the time. It's not just physical but emotional too. It's not just food, but emotions. Although there are similarities in feelings, reactions, and treatments, we will never know exactly how someone else feels.

The only we can do is listen, and educate ourselves and each other.

Let's SWITCH SIDES.......

I can't imagine what a mother would feel like!

YOU may not be getting the shots, but you have to hold down your "baby" and give them.
YOU may not have to be "high" or "low" but you suffer watching someone you love suffer.
YOU may not have to be IN the hospital, but you have to take your "baby" there, and to countless appointments, always on edge, wondering what they will say.

YOU have the sleepless nights wondering...... what if?
YOU have the responsibility of keeping your child ALIVE!
YOU have to be smarter than doctors, without a medical degree.
YOU have to spend the money, time, and commitment for everything that should just come naturally.
YOU juggle trying to raise other children and make them feel important too.
YOU raise your child letting him/her know they can do anything.

That's pretty intense. WE don't and can't know any different, because this is what WE ARE. YOU did and have know differently. YOU have to play from the sidelines.

YOU are the cheerleaders, artificial body part, STRENGTH, and SUPPORT!

YOU are the ones educating, and changing the way people see us!

YOU ARE AMAZING! Don't be so hard on yourselves! YOU DO GET IT, and because of YOU, your children, and diabetics all over the world are living better lives.

You are nothing less than Super Heros!

Thank-you for your support, kindness, and willingness to GIVE!


Weigh In Wednesday Countdown
Last Week 81.7
This Week 79.8

I am not too happy with myself, I cheated pretty bad! Dang Halloween and those peanut better chocolate pumpkins!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Holy Cow!

This post contains swear words!

Tylenol, I HATE YOU!

So, I never take Tylenol. Pain reliever my big patoot! Yeah, it's trusted by hospitals because it doesn't do anything! Last night I had a fever and just wasn't feeling well. I took a couple not thinking much about it. I had just finished with the DAY FROM HELL! On Mondays I work both of my jobs which makes for a 17 hour day with NO break in between. Not the best schedule for a diabetic.

Rewind to earlier that evening....

During the day I work as a Recreation Therapist. I LOVE my job, but even the best job has days that feel like someone took a cheese grater to your brain! On the weekends, and Mondays I work at the Fedex Office, affectionately still known to us as the "Kinkos". (You have to pay for insurance somehow, plus I can ship for super cheap) I live in a University Town. So low and behold, after telling myself I was going to have an awesome day at work, my face was slammed into a giant pie of BULLS*^T (Fitting, especially because the school mascot is a bull)! These stinkin' bratty kids from the University all come piling in. Of course they have waited until the last damn minuet to finish major projects due for their graphic design class. IT'S FREAKING 9:00pm!!! They are in the store fighting with each other, fighting with me. Yapping on the phone, nothing but a non-stop bitch fest! It was like one of those carnivore lion animal planet documentaries! One lioness is tearing the jugular out of a warthog (aka: a classmate), while another pride is taken down a customer using the color copy machine. Pandemonium! If that's not enough, our main machine is down, and we are trying to run major jobs due in the morning on slow machines in the self serve. OMG, if I hear, "Oh My Goooooooddddd" in a bitchy high pitch tone, I am going to jump over the counter and take one of these anorexic bitties in pajamas down! For crying out loud! If that's not enough. The phone keeps ringing off the hook, mostly people asking when we close. HELLO! It's part of the message before you pressed "0" to interrupt me with your stupidity! Plus, if you are calling to ask when we close, you better not be running to the door at 10:59pm wanting a 30 min job printed, with your files not set up correctly, complaining that it costs to much and wanting more than the regular student discount before we close in 1 minuet! (Which by the way did happen, as we were shooing people out of the store!)

SO................ BACK TO THE TYLENOL!

I settle in bed, headache from hell. Stomach all gurglely with acid, as I suck on a mouthful of Tums drifting off into a slumber. It's 2:00am. I have only been asleep for about 30 mins.
Oh, Dexter (SHUT UP!) I get up and check. It says I am 295. My head is pounding so I ASSume it's right, and dose to correct. Yeah, like a dumb S*&T not checking to see if its correct. (BIG MISTAKE). I drift back off, and 30 mins later I wake up in a fog, covered in sweat. Dexter crying his eyes out! 432! WTF?!! I feel like I am in SSSLLLOOOWWWMMMOOO! I check. Oh my Hell, I am 45, NOT 432! So I ride the BS roller coaster from HELL for the rest of the night, manually checking BS because Dexter has gone haywire!


Do you think maybe the friendly neighborhood pump trainer, or Dexcom consultant could have maybe, I don't know... TOLD ME! Yeah, it's things like this that we need to know. I guess most people's doctors would tell them. but my Hell, my doctor has his staff call me to ask "about that thing that checks your blood sugar all the time." Hmmmmm........ Let's see, it's called a Dexcom, you know a CGMS!!! AND.. you wrote the prescription for it!!

Oh, the lessons of D we have to learn the hard way.

The moral of the story.....
* Procrastinating university students need a kick in the A%$!
* Education is KEY when your life is on the line!
*D Blogging is sometimes the only thing that keeps me sane! (sort of)

Day 2....... How many days are in November? ;)

Monday, November 1, 2010


My Diabetic Child

Don't forget to enter the Sugar Bolus over at "My Diabetic Child" for lots of yummy Juicy Juice!

Together We Can!

I sit here today in awe of the powerful connection we ALL share. We come from different places and countries, yet we all breathe the same air. We are different genders yet we all have HEART! We like different things, but all LOVE. We work different jobs, and yet we all work together to help find a cure. Some of us have big families, some small, but we are all part of a large D family. We are different religions, yet we all have FAITH we will beat this!

DIABETES WILL NOT BEAT US! We stand UNITED. We will not back down! Through the misery of the highs and lows. Standing STRONG, BATTLING the tears of pain as givers and receivers of the needle. We stand DILIGENT and support each other, at times when our bodies are weary either directly from the diabetes, or the small bodies that look to you as their life support. We CONQUER the prejudice of ignorance, and stupidity. Although "OUR" disease is sometimes invisible, we will make it VISIBLE FOR THE WORLD TO SEE! Not because we want pity, but because out there, there is a CURE for Type 1 Diabetes! We won't stop until we find it!

YOU are the FUTURE! YOU are the one that can educate the world. We didn't do anything to get this disease. It happened! Our lives will never be the same, or "normal". But we stand with COURAGE knowing we are bigger than this, and TOGETHER we will win!

Thank YOU for fighting this battle with me! ALONE I am nothing, together with amazing people who refuse to just lay down and take it. We will change this world. We are an army! Despite the casualties of this disease, our D friends are never "lost" nor "forgotten". We won't let them be! Thank YOU for standing strong! I hope November is a month that will never be forgotten!

Happy November!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Me too!

Like all the awesome D bloggin' mamas out there, I am joining in too!

FOR THE WHOLE MONTH, I will be blogging everyday, to help spread awareness about the "D"! So good luck to everyone out there! Count me in!!! :)

Happy Halloween and Giveaway winner!!


I know that Halloween can be a frustrating time with all the unpredictable running around and a sea of fee candy everywhere! However, I hope everyone has a wonderful, and uneventful
(meaning D, of course) time with your loved ones!

Heidi from D Tales!!! Yay!

Please send me your address! My e-mail:

Thank you everyone for entering the contest. I look forward to hosting the future Sugar Bolus, starting in December!!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Naked!!!!! Meme That IS!

I thought I should jump on Reyna's Naked Bandwagon. . . . .
(Don't take that the wrong way )

1. What kind on insulin management mode do you use?
I have a wonderful PINK Animas Ping Pump, affectionately known as "Pumpsley". I have a back-up. It's a Deltec Cozmo Green Pump. (I LOVED this pump!) I have a Dexcom named "Dexter"!

2. How often do you inject/change pump sites?
I use 90 degree steel infusion sets, called rapid D. I have NEVER been able to use the regular soft cannulas without something getting kinked or damaged, or not working right. I HAVE to change every 2 days or I have redness and poor absorption. I can NEVER use my stomach because the rate at which my body absorbs the insulin is very inconsistent!!! My legs have had it from so many years of shots, that I usually use arms to sites. This may freak you out but I also use the top part of my chest. I know this freaks out my mom! One of my good friends who works as a surgical nurse suggested it. I was pretty scared when I first tried it, but the absorption rate is perfect. I never worry about my site either, because I can see it, so it's not going to get rammed into by a door frame or counter. It is usually visable, so I do get those "ewwww, something's wrong with that girl!" stares". That kinda sucks. I have read on the internet that some people (boys and girls) use their breasts. (Graphic thought, SORRY) I still haven't been brave enough to try that. There are A LOT of medical professionals that say YOU HAVE to stay within the areas "proven". I say if you try and it works, then go for it. The only downfall is when using steel sets you sometimes get an ouchie poke.

3. What type (s) of insulin do you use?
I use Novolog. When I am on "pump vacation" or having a problem I use Novolog and Levemir.

4. What are your basal settings ?
12am: 1.5 units/h
03am: 0.75 units/h
06am: 2.25 units/h
10am: 1.75 units/h
12:30pm: 1.80 units/h
2:30pm: 1.50 units/h
6:30pm: 2.50 units/h
9:30pm: 1.25 units/h

Let's just say without the beautiful function of Temp. Basal, I would be in trouble!!!!

5. What are your correction factors ?
Morning before 10 1:20
Morning after 10 1:25
Afternoon 1:35
Evening before 6 1:25
Evening after 6 1:35

6. What are your meal ratios ?
Morning before 10 1:8
Morning after 10 1:10
Afternoon 1:15
Evening before 6 1:12
Evening after 6 1:10

7. What do you do for activity and/or PE?
Because there has NEVER been a predictable pattern in the way physical activity affects my BS, I make sure to keep close tabs on Dexter's trend, and use temp basals to be safe.

8. How do you manage Pizza, Macaroni and Cheese, or any other "difficult to manage" foods?

The same way I manage exercise, although I am on a diet, so I am really not eating foods that require crazy combos, o
r unpredictable temp basals!

9. How do you prefer to manage your logs/data?
The Dexcom software is Super Awesome. I love playing with it when I connect up. Otherwise I mark things on my meal plans for my diet and exercise.

10. The BIGGEST thing, I learned from being a diabetic, that NOBODY INCLUDING MY DOCTOR told me?

EVERY emotion affects your BS numbers. Yes, I said "EVERY". Food can sometimes be easy to predict and correct. Emotions are a whole different story.

When I am SAD, DEPRESSED, or one of my Grandfriends dies.... The numbers go UP!
When I am EXCITED, or SUPER HAPPY.... The numbers go DOWN!
When I am STRESSED, or ANGRY.... The numbers go ALL OVER, UP or DOWN!
When I am SICK .... The numbers go ALL OVER, UP or DOWN!

It hard enough to worry about correcting and balancing food, but it is kinda defeating when you are SO EXCITED to go to Disneyland, or Phantom of the Opera in Vegas and have to worry because the anticipation and excitement is killing you! (Really)
Oh, I was so busy I forgot to post Thankful Thursday!

Things I am so thankful for!

Hot Peppermint Tea with Splenda on a chilly day!

Our cute "farm" and the beautiful changes it's going through now that it's fall!
Oh, and not having to mow the grass!!!

Hickety, Pickety, Miss Cheep, Thumbelina, and Alice Fuzzybum! Our cute and always funny chickens! They are a hoot! They each have their own personality and it's funny to watch them! They lay beautiful eggs too! Of course we don't eat them! Although, hypocritically speaking, I can't imagine eating one that's your pet!

And as ALWAYS the super D Blogging friends, my family, friends, and my super cute boyfriend Ty!

Have a GREAT Weekend Everybody!

PS: Don't forget to enter the giveaway! If you blog about it, FBook it, or "Follow" my Blog you get an extra chance to win!